grief, stage 1: shock & denial

On Thursday, 3/19/2020, Governor Gavin Newsom announced an indefinite Shelter at Home Order for the entire state, only allowing essential businesses to continue operating.

As a manufacturer of products for the promo industry, the company I worked for was not an essential business. We were already reeling from the loss of orders due to cancelled events and reduced marketing budgets. Before the governor’s announcement, the entire staff had been reduced to 4 day work weeks, furloughing 1 day a week to alleviate overhead costs. As the company’s third most senior employee, it was a strategy I was familiar with from the 2008 Great Recession – a small sacrifice from everyone so no one would have to lose their job. It was what earned my boss and the company my loyalty for 12 years.

Subject: “With a heavy heart…”
The email hit my inbox the next morning. I didn’t know what to expect when I opened it. More of our hours cut? Salaries reduced? Perhaps mandated PTO/vacation?
I skimmed through it briefly.

“As you know, what the Country and the World are facing is totally unprecedented…the CA Governor ordered a statewide Stay at Home Order until further notice.”
Yep. Ok.

“As a small manufacturer…[we are] particularly affected…our revenue slashed to zero…”
Mmhmm…got it. Go on…

“We had to quickly draft a ‘Survival Plan’…cutting operating and marketing expenses…46 of our 78 employees will be laid-off…”
Oh shit…

“We are asking all remaining employees to take a substantial pay-cut…our goal is to survive this…”
Ok – pay cut. That’s fine – I’ll just stop spending.

“We encourage you to file for Unemployment as soon as possible…”
Wait…What?

“To help, we are doing our part…pay you in full for the [past] 2 weeks…we will include all your accrued vacation and sick time…adding $1000 severance…”
WHAT. THE. FUCK. JUST. HAPPENED.

Did I just get laid off? I read through the email again. No where did it say “Jasmine, we’re letting you go.” Was this really about me? I read it again. Those are my vacation and sick time numbers. Maybe someone else has the exact same hours?

I read it again…in its entirety.

“Jasmine, you have been part of [this company] for the past 12 years, so this is especially hard. I wish you the best and sincerely hope we can work together again very soon!”
This cannot be happening. Did I really just get laid off? By EMAIL??

It was about me. I couldn’t (didn’t want to) believe it. After 12 years of loyalty – blossoming into adulthood, finding success in an unexpected sales career, dropping out of college to travel the country, only seeing my husband the weekends, and sacrificing being present for my son’s first year of life – I lost my job.

“PS: We will be in touch when things settle down to coordinate getting back Company owned equipment (the laptop is yours so you keep that)”
Great. Thanks…

3 thoughts on “grief, stage 1: shock & denial

  1. I got the call. I put in 18 years and did not receive one cent of severance pay. Our entire inside sales team is gone and most of our outside team as well.
    I would have preferred the email and $1000.

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    1. That’s terrible! I personally would have preferred a call or a video chat over that email. The way he handled this was devaluing and degrading – which I will expand on in later posts. In the end, this pandemic just proved that in their most desperate times, even the most compassionate business owners will only looking out for themselves and their pockets.

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