By March 21st, almost 3.3 million people filed initial unemployment claims, myself included. My situation was far from uncommon. The economy had come to a screeching halt. The idea of life returning to normal was nothing but a pipe dream.
Three hours after I hit send on the hardest email I’d ever had to write, the company deactivated my Outlook and DropBox accounts. No email reply. No phone call. Absolutely ZERO acknowledgement.
Un. Fucking. Believable.
From a business standpoint, I understood the need to reduce spending in anticipation of an economic downturn. I understood the decision to layoff in order to ensure the company could continue its operations. I could even rationalize being laid off considering my salary.
But this didn’t feel like it was “just business.” This felt like a personal Fuck You.
Many of my friends and colleagues had been laid off or furloughed. And each one of them received a call from their boss. Phone call. Zoom Meeting. Skype. Their bosses took the time to personally express their sorrow for the situation and gratitude for their work. The idea that my boss, the owner, my mentor, felt our relationship was so disposable it was not worth any personal communication was infuriating.
How could he be so disrespectful and cold and cruel? After years of putting the company first? Putting him first!
I did everything he asked from me with no questions asked. Take over the shipping desk for a week because the receptionist gets overwhelmed trying to answer phones and ship? Sure thing. Work on quotes late into the night after you get back from your sales calls because inside sales is drowning and the other outside sales rep can’t handle his work load? You got it. Finish 3,000 rows of data entry in Excel from 8 different documents because no one in the office types as fast as you? No problem. Plan, book, and manage a retreat for 15 people on top of your own travel and work schedule? Done. Run and analyze fiscal year end reports because our accounting team is too busy doing invoices and collections? Don’t know how, but I’ll figure it out. Make me a latte – not too milky? Of course, sir.
I sacrificed my own personal progress for him. I didn’t pursue a degree because he said it wouldn’t add value to my career with the company. I picked up and moved half way across the country and then came back 2 years later on his whim. I didn’t get married or have a baby until it matched his timeline. I wasn’t present for my first year of motherhood so he wouldn’t look at me as a subpar employee.
I endured numerous instances of cringe-worthy and degrading behavior from him. I listened as he criticized my coworkers behind their backs about their health, intelligence, ability, and physical appearance – always wondering what he was saying about me to them. I allowed him to mock me for choosing to breastfeed my baby. I tolerated his inappropriate jokes about sex and gender expectations. I sat silently as he ridiculed my Filipino culture.
I withdrew all boundaries for the sake of my job. And this is how it ends?
Via an impersonal, boiler plate email about unprecedented times? An underhanded remark about how this was a “hard decision” to make? Disingenuous “hope” that we can work together again?
I didn’t even deserve a thank you?
Fuck. You. Too.
unemployed mommy 