In January, when the Novel Coronavirus was just a murmur on news channels, I was asked to take a new position with the company. It was a “jill-of-all-trades” role, incorporating marketing and social media, customer operations, software programming, and event management. I would work from home most days, only commuting to the office once a week. But the salary was 25% less than what I was currently earning, and the bonus potential didn’t come close to making up the loss.
Why would I even consider taking such a deep pay cut?
The truth was that becoming a mom had depleted my enthusiasm for life on the road. Spending 2-3 nights a week in hotel rooms all over the country was heartbreaking. I wanted to be home, cuddling my son and getting drunk off his new baby smell. I wanted to be home, raising him and watching him learn and grow. I hated that my experience of my son’s first year of life and my first year of motherhood had been reduced to looking at the photos and videos my husband had sent me throughout the day.
Did I think it was fair that to be the mother I wanted to be, I had to be paid less? No. But the message was clear: to be a successful AE and advance in that role, I had to sacrifice my family. Sacrifice my son’s upcoming milestones. Sacrifice my husband’s sanity as our son’s sole caregiver. And then go ahead and sacrifice my marriage along with all of that, too. In my heart, the pros of being present for my family far outweighed the cons of a reduced annual salary.
Why not find another job?
Because: LOYALTY. I spent 12 years at the same company. That’s almost half my life. I grew up in that company – blossomed into adulthood there, found my career there, learned life lessons there. I had been with the company longer than I even knew my husband. How could I walk away from that?
I countered the offer and agreed to a 15% pay cut – the bare minimum I needed to support my family. I was set to start the new position on May 4th. And I was genuinely excited to begin my new chapter.
Weeks before California enacted the Shelter at Home order, the company’s bottom line was already feeling the effects of Coronavirus. Cancelled events meant cancelled orders. Corporate cuts on marketing expenses meant no new orders being placed. The furlough was supposed to offset that lost revenue.
I was worried – Would I have to take even more of a pay cut if the furlough were to continue into May? The owner set time aside to discuss my concerns.
His answer: I’m not even thinking about May right now. We need to figure out how to survive these next two months. If this goes into May, don’t worry about a furlough.
One week later, I was laid off.
What if I never expressed my concerns about how the furlough would affect my reduced salary? What if I had just taken the original 25% cut instead of negotiating for more? Would he have kept me?
I thought about past actions that brought tension to our relationship. If I had done things different then, would it have affected his decision to let me go now?
What if we took our vacation during a slow month instead of celebrating my son’s first birthday?
What if I had spent more time on the road instead of trying to raise my baby?
What if I stopped breast feeding earlier so I wouldn’t have to take breaks to pump at work?
What if I went back to work after recovering from delivery instead of extending my maternity leave?
What if I kept working until I went into labor?
What if I didn’t fly home early from that business trip because I had a car accident at 20 weeks pregnant?
What if I just showed up sick for that impromptu sales meeting instead of calling in?
What if I didn’t ask for that one night off during the Vegas tradeshow to attend my best friend’s wedding?
What if I never asked for that raise 5 years ago?
Would any of it have been enough for him to keep me?
unemployed mommy 